Chocolate Nightmares Performance: "Out Of My League"

Dangerously In Love

See its set in my heart
I'm so in love wit U
Through whatever we go through
We will hold true cause you are a part of me
You set me free
I must decree
I can't do this thing called life without U here wit me
Got me wide open
Hoping to soak in the greatness that is U
Cause I'm dangerously in love wit U
And you can believe in me
I'll never leave
I'll relieve that burden that the past has left on yo soul
Consoling yo every emotion to the T
Just keep loving me
What we share means more than you'll know
But my goal is to show you how much you mean
How much this love means
A ring could not display
Day by day my love grows
And every day shows me that you are the one that I wanna spend the rest of my life with
So as I sift through our beautiful past to our wonderful present
My once hesitant steps turn to firm and deliberate
I'm ready for "US"
And thus I'm caught up in
The way I love U loving me

No Pain No Pleasure: Chapter 4

As the sun rose again to shed light through Andrele’s window, it shines on the unawaken. Exhausted mentally from the previous day’s unexpected series of events, Andrele’s sleeps a little later than he usually does on a day when he knowingly has plans. Considering the fact that he had been tossing and turning the entire night, his sleeping in isn’t unbelievable. The fact that he had been wrongly hated a man that wasn’t of the character that he was accused of was seriously eating him up. Thoughts of “What to do now?” and “Can the time lost really be made up?” flooded his mind. Andrele thought of times that Pat would try to simply talk to him and Anderele would blow him off. All Pat’s attempts to better the relationship between the two of them were eventually, if not right away, shut down by Andrele’s hatred. So how are things really going to be repaired?  All that Andrele could hope and pray on is that Pat would continue to want things to be better.

Knocks at his front door awakes him.

“Not again…” Andrele said as the knocking turns into banging. “Hol up…I’m coming…Give me a second.”

He makes his way to the door half sleep pleading with knocker outside his door.

“PLEASE STOP KNOCKING!!”

He opens the door and it is his publicist Tanya Mercy.

“I’m sorry if this is a bad time but I had to come check on you…You wasn’t answering yo phone and I just wanted to make sure you were ok.” She said walking into the loft.

Andrele slightly annoyed but understanding replies.

“Yea…I’m straight…Things are just crazy right now man…”

“I mean I understand…Honestly like how you feeling right now?” Mercy asked.

“I guess I’m fine…” he said. “But I just can’t believe…man…”

“Can’t believe what Drele?” she asked.

Andrele sat her down and explained the previous day in entirety.

“Damn boy….You were really going through it yesterday…” she replied to the story. “How you gon deal wit that?”

“Honestly right now I have NO clue…” he said. “I kinda just hope it works itself out forreal forreal!”

“Well deal wit it the best way you know how…and always know that you got me in your corner.” She said as she grabs his hands.

“I know I know….and thank you so much…” she replied. “That shit just got my mind going.” Andrele said.

“I understand…………….Hey…..Get dressed…Let’s go grab something to eat or something.” Mercy said.

“Tanya….I ain’t really feeling it...I ain’t really hungry.” he said.

“Man come on Drele…I’m not taking no for an answer.” Mercy stated as she pushes him for the couch and toward the stairs.

“Aight…Aight….I’ll go….” He quickly replies. “But I get to pick where we go cause you know you ain’t got no taste.” He said.

“REALLY? THAT’S HOW YOU FEEL?” she replies.

Andrele got dressed and the two headed out. With it being Andrele’s decision on where they would go, it kept things “real southern like” as he chose to go to Waffle House.

“Umm may I have the All-Star Special….I want my eggs scrambled WIT CHEESE and may I have sausage instead of bacon…….O and kept that hash and make it double cheese eggs!!” he told the waiter excitedly. “Wit OJ please?...O and EVERYTHING is on her…THANK YOU!!!”

“Boy you a mess…” Mercy said laughing and shaking her head. “May I have 2 sausage, egg, and cheese biscuits please and coffee? Thank you.”

“See I told you you ain’t got no taste…You come to the “Home Of The All Star” and don’t get an All Star…What wrong witcha?” Andrele said.

After the two ordered, they sat, talked, ate and enjoyed themselves. With some much business time, they hadn’t had much time to simply just enjoy each other as friends and not co-workers. They exchange many laughs and life stories and really get to know each other on a platonic level.  This had to be one of the intimate conversations that the two had shared since Tanya was hired has his publicist.

“So what is the move…are we going to do the appearance or not Drele?” she said.

“Yea I guess we will…Ain’t nothing wrong wit a lil community service…plus it ain’t like I got anything else to do…” he replied.

On arrival to the community service event, Andrele and Tanya were immediately greeted by the event’s coordinator, James Willis; a children’s right advocate.

“Hello…How are you?....Mr. Driek correct?” he said greeting Andrele.

“Yes that is me and I’m fine….How bout yourself?” Andrele replied.

“I’m absolutely well….and who might I ask is this gorgeous queen that accompanies you?” Willis said as he inspects Tanya’s petite frame.

“Ummm…she is my assistant/publicist Ms. Tanya Mercy…” Andrele said.

“Hi…what a pleasure it must be to be blessed with such beauty Ms. Mercy…I’m glad you have blessed me and this event also…” Willis said as he grabs Tanya’s hand and gently kisses it.

“Uh…such a gentleman…nice to meet you…” she answered.

“Yes ma’am…chivalry definitely isn’t dead….” Willis said. “But back to business…Andrele today’s agenda will consist of simply fraternizing with this old cidevant retirees and Atlanta’s vibrant youth….That seems easy enough right?....Right Ms. Mercy?”

“Yes I do believe it should Mr. Willis!” Tanya said.

“So if you will follow me into the conference room I will assist you in the process of getting signed in and we can begin…this way please?” he said directing them and proceeding to walk off.

“Mercy what was all of that?” he whispered to Tanya before they followed Willis.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“All that flirting you were doing...O yes Mr. Willis….You’re such a gentlemen….” he said laughing at and mocking her.

“I was just being nice…and he is a gentleman from what I just seen...Are you….are you jealous?...Green isn’t a good color for you!” she replied.

“No envy here at all….” He said quickly.

“Come on before this dude gets too far away…” she said.

“You need to stop at the refreshments first don’t you” Andrele asked.

“No….Why you asking?” she asked.

“Cause you looking thirsty as hell!” he said laughing.

“Man come on here…” she said.

Eff You

My thought process is a mess
Messed up by your ignorant elegance
Your negligence really grinds my gears
It seems like everything I say goes in one ear and out the other
Which creates another problem
Got me bothered
Wanting to say eff you
But damn when you throw that thang on me
A bad girl to the T
What you lack in trust you make up in lust
But that still attracts me
Sadly the physicality calms me
And calmly takes my mind out of time
Leaves me blind to fact
As you get me bothered
And say I want to eff you
But as easy as things get better things get worse
Cursed with this blessing
Blessed with this curse
But living without this
I don't think I can
When out comes to letting go
Even though I'm bothered
I can't say eff you

Wandering...

My minds wanders.....
Wanders...wanders....wanders....
I can't seem 2 get a hold of my thoughts
U've brought me 2 this
Thoughts of kissing yo lips Thoughts of running my fingers tips all over U
Caressing U
Losing my myself in U
I can't get out of my mind the thought of my tongue on every part of U
Would U Like that?
With a sex appeal SO real
I jus dont know how 2 contain my thoughts....
DAMN!!! How do U do this 2 me?<div style='clear: both; text-align: center; font-size: xx-small;'>Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5</div>

I Wonder

I wonder if U notice
I wonder
I wonder if U notice my corner stares
My quick glances
And brief looks at yo hair
Style and smile
I wonder do U notice everytime I get around U how I jus...
How would I say...
Stay longer than expected lol
Do U?
Do U notice this at all?
Even the slightest?
Notice even the lightest bit of flirtatious smiles
Maybe its jus me...
Maybe I'm jus trippin
Slippin
But I wish I can tell U how much I love 2 see walk up and past
Jus a fast breeze by makes my day
I'm rambling
I jus wanna let YOU kno U be on my mind

Don't White Out (When He Returned... Reply)

In a moment of clarity in all sincerity I must say that I really do apologize
I apologize for leaving your heart in the cold
Now that I desire to hold it
My attempts are null and void
But I must commence 2 speak at my defense that U did not release your heart at my knowledge
See I do vividly remember things being wonderful
Beautiful vibes ascribed 2 our deep mental and physical attractions
Our actions spoke much as we created passion without a single sensual touch or meeting of the lips
Just sips of yo intellectually romantic juices of such
But in steps 2 advance the romance your steps became hesitant
Evidence of cold feet left me wondering
Wondering where your mind might be since "WE" was not something that was considered
So as your pen begins again remember that because of certain circumstances our stances on situations may be a little skewed
But also don't exclude the magic we created through verse
Dont construe this as rude and terse
You still captivate my mind with lines that complete my soul
Boldly taking me into another world
Gurl just don't let your mind forget
Don't white out

When He Returned...(Writing 2 My Heart Reply) By: A. Marie Rose

My heart spoke to you worlds ago. Way back when all she knew about love was you. She whispered her spoken words in your ears and wrote you letters of romance. But you opened my chest only to make my heart more vulnerable to heartbreak. I was caught up in everything about you,your dreams, your life,your smile… We had been friends since junior high. But times back then were so complicated and we did not understand how to love eachother, let alone just love. And years later you walk back in my life writing me lullabies and poems. How dare you write to her now? How dare you try to love her now? You left her in pieces sprawled amongst the pebbles on the street. She cried in your absence and you cared not. Your present words inspire me. You are now the man I wanted back then. You understand all of my characters, including the commas,periods,and spaces of my words without me ever uttering a word verbally to you. You appreciate my pain and my fantasies that I paint in my poems. I’ve loved a writer before and although I’d want to bring myself to let you in,you already crossed and destroyed that bridge. Out of hope I gathered the ashes and left them in a boxfor you to grab if you ever returned. But you never did so I stored them in a place that I never thought I would see again… But you’re back. Writing out the stories of my heart like she gave them to you in an interview. You’re back like you never left and she has no idea of what to do about that… So she writes.
                                 -A. Marie Rose

Y'all Go Check Out This Amazing Writer And Follow Her Tumblir: www.Lyricalelement.tumblr.com

Writing To My Heart

What is this U do 2 me? Caught up on ur every word...Every curve of ur R's 2 the doting of ur I's drives me wild...Insanely ally my eyes run through ur words as ur emotions surged through me...U see I've never experienced this feeling b4...Someone who can appreciate this art...Makes me start 2 wonder am I missing out on something...or someone...Someone I can share something special with...A bond that goes deeper than jus the surface...A bond that is cold enough 2 send chills yet hot enough 2 burn millions in time...I find myself chasing the love U speak of but its always out of my grasp...But that makes me ask could I be the one 2 give U what U need...Maybe if its meant 2 be I'll find out some day...

No Pain No Pleasure: Chapter 3

Andrele and his family sat in one of Grady Hospital's waiting rooms, many thoughts and emotions flood his mind. Caught up on the realization that his actions toward his father could possibly be his last were seriously attacking him. But his ill will toward his father made him numb to any hysteria. Although he was caught between emotions, seeing his family so sad made him feel for his father's situation.

 "Lord please let him be ok!" Pam said weeping.

Seeing  his mother so distraught made him question his emotions toward his father even more. He thought to himself why is she able to throw what he did out the window like nothing ever happened. How could she simply accept him back after he left her with two kids to raise on her own for years. He dabbled at the idea of asking her why but figured the time wasn't right, but the hunger of knowing wouldn’t let him ignore his anxiousness.

"Mama could I ask you a question?" he asked wiping her tears.

"What is it son?" she replied.

"How is it that you are able to accept Pat back into our lives after what he's done to us?" he asked. "All those years he wasn't there...All the things you had to endure because of him walking out...How are you able to forgive and move on?"

"Well Drele I can tell you that it definitely was no easy...Things were very hard when he left us and I even questioned him actually leaving again..." she answered. "But it was not all his fault...Me and your father had been going through a lot between the time your sister was born and when he left...We began to struggle and I became very irritated by your father's immaturity...Well I wouldn't call it immaturity...He just didn’t' really know how to do "motherly" things that I just couldn't do at the time because of my post labor...I gave him a very hard time about the smallest of things and he felt like he couldn't take it anymore."

"But just because he felt like he couldn't take it anymore that justifies him walking away?" he asked.

"No  Drele, it definitely didn't make it ok and he knew that...he tried to come back and I just would have it...I told him that he would never see his kids again..." she said. "And after a while I didn't hear from him at all and at that time I realized that I had made a big mistake but my pride wouldn't let me go back to him..." she said.

At that moment Andrele, eyes wide in amazement, sits straight up in his chair.

"Then one day he called and I swallowed my pride enough to answer the phone...He called to check on us and he apologized for everything that happened between us...We sat there and talked for hours catching and I noticed a difference in him...In his tone...in his dialogue...He was a broken man..." she added. "The way that he asked and talked about us I could tell that he had been broken by not being able to see his family...he asked to come by and visit us during the conversation and I allowed it..."

Andrele was a loss of words. "What...Wha...How..."

"That is the reason I tell you that that man is a good man...yes he has made his mistakes but we all do...When he started to be back around and you started to take a bad vibe with him I offered to him that I would tell you the whole story but he chose against it...He told me that he would bare he blame so you would still have me to confide in need be..." she continued.  "That man has always wanted to be in you and your sister's lives and I respect and support him in his endeavors..."

Thrown for a loop by the information that his mother has shared with him, Andrele is very confused about his feelings for his father. On hand he is thinking about how his father wasn't in his life so many years, but in the other he now knows that the reasons for his hatred toward Pat aren't exactly valid anymore. Yes his father left hem but it wasn't completely his fault and when he wanted to come back initially his mother didn't want Pat to.

"Honestly Pat is my soul mate...The bad times that I've shared with him are nothing compared to the wonderful times I've enjoyed with him...I'm so happy to have him back in my life and I think you should be too..." she added.

At that moment a nurse walked into the waiting room.

"Pamela Driek?"

"That's me...How is he doing?...Is he ok?" she asked nervously.

"Well ma'am he is in critical condition right now...Mr. Jones suffered a mild heart attack...he will need to stay under our care until we can be sure that his health is stable enough..." he nurse answered.

"Well can we at least see him?" Pam asked.

"He is actually sleeping but you may go see him." the nurse said.

The family all gathered together to follow the nurse to Pat’s room. With so much going through his mind, Andrele’s steps were very hesitant. All he could think about was how much he resented Pat for almost no reason at all. How could he face him after treating him so wrongly. Getting closer and closer to Pat’s room, the family grew more hopefully as Andrele himself grew more hesitant.

“Ok his room is right here…” the nurse said as she entered his room. “Let me just check everything to make sure that everything is everything.”

Andrele was he last member to walk into the room. As Pat lay in bed motionless, it was immediately noticeable that he was in awful condition. Pam began to cry seeing him in such bad shape. Andrele was in a state of shock. He just couldn’t believe that all this time he had wrongly accused his father and now he is about o potential lose one of the people that he wanted in his life the most, his father.

“Nurse, how long do you think he will have to be here…like an estimate time frame?” Pam asked.

“I honestly wouldn’t be able to answer that question for you right now…it’s going to depend solely on how fast his health level increases.” The nurse answered.

Andrele just stood this quietly as if he wasn’t even there. Then the nurse begins again.

“Umm excuse me ma’am, I know it may not be the right time but I have some paperwork that needs to be signed…financial purposes…”

“Ok…thank you for everything…” Pam replied.

As he nurse hands the pen and clipboard to Pam Andrele grabs it from this mother’s hands.

”I got it mama…don’t worry bout…” he said to her.

This shocks Pam and as Andrele begins to fill out the paperwork she begins to smile.

 Andrele completes the paperwork and followed he nurse into he the hall way. But before he could get too far out into the hall, Big Mama comes behind him and stops him.

”Drele you did a good thing back there…I know things have been rough between you and your father but your mother was right...” she said. “He has been trying to do everything he can to make sure things could be made right….I know things made be hard to understand right now but give him a chance… I don’t think you will regret it suga...”

     "I hear ya Big Mama..." Andrele replied.

     Andrele wasn't very sure what would transpire between him and Pat but what he was sure of is that he had to at least try to make things right. Or at least make something of the situation.

     Andrele's phone begins to rings.

     "Hello?"

     "Yea Drele what happened to you calling me back?" Tanya said.

     "Mercy I had some family issues today...I apologize." he said.

     "Nigga don’t lie to me...you probably been somewhere frappin' off." she said.

    "No really I did have family issues...no flex...my father had a heart attack...I been at the hospital since like 11." he replied.

     "Oh I'm sorry to hear that...he ok?" she asked.

     "At the moment yes...I don’t know how long he will be here though." he said.

     "Oh ok...well are you ok?...Are you even feeling up for this appearance tomorrow?" she asked.

     "I don’t know how to feel right now honestly but I'ma be aight...I need to make this appearance cause I'ma take care of the expenses." he said.

    "Well aight...what time do you wanna meet up tomorrow?" Tanya asked.

    "Just give me the normal wake up call." Andrele replied.

     "Ok...Try to get some rest...I'll talk to you later on..." she said.

     Andrele then walks back in the room.

     "Mama I gotta go...Got an appearance to make in the morning...Call me if y'all need anything..." he said.

     "Ok I'll call U...Be careful on the way home." Pam said.

    "Ok...I love y'all...Later..."

     His day was definitely not supposed to unfold like it did but he would get some rest and try to sleep it off. Another day gone, another day to start anew.

Darkness/Free Flow 7

Y do I feel like this
Y do I feel so much pain
Y am I losing so bad caught up in this game
This game of love and hate
See one minute I'm straight then the next I'm straight losing it
See my fate is proving to be a dark one
Stripped of the sun that once shun
Now filled with coldness I can't seem 2 get away from
Y can't I just be happy
Am I not deserving
Its like a car swerving all over my heart
As I start 2 slump further into the darkness I can feel the old me slip
It takes over me 2 the core
I'm "Me" no more

Borderline/Free Flow 6

In deep...my mind creeps on the insanity borderline...suspended in time...searching for that silver lining...and what I'm finding is myself continuing 2 come up short...Joy short lived as I down this tall glass of failure...I face the facts of not being good enough...Will this EVER end? I pray for better days...

No Pain No Pleasure: Chapter 2

    Taken aback after his completely unexpected morning soiree, Andrele falls under curiosity of what the rest of his day had to bring. Originally believing that it would be a day of solitude, his day definitely doesn't seem to be following through with that idea.
    As he sat back on the couch he thought to himself, "Man that girl crazy..."
    He and Lea had a decorated past. They once dated when he initially moved into his loft. Within a brief infatuation period,  the couple fell victim of a steamy physical relationship. But with Andrele being a writer and was frequently away from her on business, complication set in on them. They both chose to opt out of the relationship before it turned for the worst. But although they were not together their physical fixation for each other would not let them completely be done with one another. Many days and nights of their sexual encounters went by, but as he was away more often the bigger her appetite grew and eventually urged her to move on.
    This caused no ill will between the two. Andrele was totally understanding of Lea's drift. He was even happy to know that she would have an opportunity to gain a real relationship and real bond with someone instead of their simple sex games. But she never entered a relationship and this morning encounter was the first time that they've come in contact with one either in months. It was surely an act that implied that there was certainly no lust lost.
    "I'm glad she aight though."
    With nothing scheduled as of yet Andrele decides to just start his day like normal and see where things would go from there. He gets up, takes a shower and cooks himself brunch. Lyrics of Kendrick Lamar, J. Cole, Wale and many more echo as he moves throughout the place.
    "Aight let me check these voicemails."
    Beeeep...Message One!
       Ahh yes, Mr. Driek, this is
       Jason Cross, a representative
       from Smooth 99.2...We just
       wanna thank you again for
       the appearance and would
       like to extend our...
    "Next..."
    Message Deleted! Message Two!
       Drele I ain't playin wit you...
       we really need to talk about
       tomorrow! We ain't on the
       road but we still need to gon
       'head and make this quick
       money. You need it and I
       know I need it. Call me back
       Drele! Later...
    "Mercy is hilarious..."
    Message Saved! Message Three!
       Hey dere Sugarfoot...Just
       calling tryna check up on
       you. Ain't heard from you in
       a while. I hope you get a
       chance to visit soon. Me and
       yo mama miss you so much.
       Pat misses you too but he so
       damn stubborn. I told him to
       call you but it go in one ear
       and right out the other. But
       anyway, just know that Big
       Mama loves you and we are
       so anxious to see you. Talk
       to you later. Bye Bye...
    Message Saved! Ended Of Messages!
    And just like that his day was set up. It had been a while since he had a chance to spend time with his family and with his schedule clear this was a perfect opportunity to do so.
    Living in Atlanta all of his life, moving away is something he just could not allow himself to do. This was not only because of his personal preference not to leave but also because of his family. Andrele grew up very close knit to his family and could not see himself completely leaving them. Being away from them promoting and selling his books was enough but to actually not be able to visit and care for them at all was a totally different ball game.
    When Andrele first began to make good revenue from his writings, he offered to move his family into a bigger and nicer house than the one they were currently living in but his Big Mama wasn't having it. Big Mama, his grandmother, thought it better to stay in the house because not only was the house paid for but because of all the memories that the house concealed. No matter how much pleading he did, there was no way she was moving from that house.
    One of the great things about them living in the house was that it wasn't far from his place. He jumped in his Camaro and was on his way.
    Riding through his neighborhood always brought back great memories. This trip was did nothing less.
    As he turned on his street he even runs across his childhood friends Krik and Paul. Andrele, Paul and Krik grew up through grade school together. They were like brothers to one another. They looked out for each other and although Krik and Paul never really left the neighborhood after graduating high school, they always supported Andrele through all of his success.
    "Brah what happened to you earlier?" Kirk said as Andrele pulled up on them.
    "Man Lea came over..." he replied.
    "Aww man, you still talk to her?" Paul asked. "I thought y'all had don split up..."
    "Yea cause I told you that she had don tried to get at me..." Krik said.
    "Nawl brah, we don't talk no mo and I asked her bout that and she told me me she ain't messin witcha!" Andrele said.
    "Yea...well...I ain't even like her like that no way...she ain't bout nothin...her frappin ass..." Krik said.
    "Brah you good...dont sweat it brody...you'll find someone someday." Andrele said.
    "Man whatever...what you doin round here anyway?" Krik asked. "You know you don't be in the hood no mo."
    "Yea I know...I'm fallin through tryna visit the fam before I get busy again." Andrele said.
    "I went over there the other day...I think last Sunday...Big Mama invited us to dinner...you know I threw down..." Paul said.
    "Oh aight...well let me get through there and I'ma catch back up wit y'all before I head back to the criNib..." Andrele said.
    "Aight brah...hit us up foo..." Paul said.
    Andrele then leaves them and continues down the street.
    As he pulls up to the house he sees his niece and nephew playing basketball in the yard and it immediately brings a smile to his face. He blows the horn as he enters the driveway.
    "Aye y'all be'not hit my car wit that ball!" he says jokingly.
    "Yea whatever Unc..." his nephew Ryan answers. "You need to come and get yo pockets ran..."
    "Aye if I had some shorts I'd school you right now youngin'" he replies.
    "Man you running from this ass whippin'." Ryan said.
    "Aight...we gon see next time I'm here and I'm tell yo mama you cussin'." Andrele said walking away.
    "No man...I'm already in trouble...brah c'mon." Ryan said grabbing his uncle's arm.
    "I'm just playin...And how are you Ms. Alise?"
    "I'm fine but yo sister won't let me go out wit my friends." Alise said.
    "Are there gonna be boys there?" he asked.
    "Maybe..."
    "Well I wouldn't let yo ass go either!" he said laughing.
    "OMG...Can you please talk to her Unc?" she asked.
    "I'll see what I can do!"
    "Yay...thank you so much!" she said attacking him with a hug.
    "Where erybody at?" he asked.
    "They probably all in the living room...Big Mama talkin to Mama...you know Pat and Ken got into it the other day." Alise said.
    "Thanks...let me go see what they got goin..."
    Andrele walks through the house and as he usually does yells, "Where y'all at?...I'm home..."
    "Hey there, my grandson coming to visit his dear old Big Mama...how you doin baby?" Big Mama said.
    "I'm aight Big Mama...how you doin?"
    "I'm doing jus fine now that you here sugar...I'm glad you could visit...I got yo message from when you were in New York...You don made it big ain't 'cha boy?" she said.
    "I'm doin aight right now...I still got a ways to go but I'ma get there." he said.
    "Well you are a star to me baby..." she said as she hugged him and kiss him on the cheek.
    "Yea I know Big Mama...thats my lil star." A voice said from behind him. It was his mother and the rest of the family, his sister Kita and his father Pat.
    "Hey Mama, hey Kita...Pat..." Andrele said.
    The relationship between Andrele and his father had been tense since Pat walked out on them when Andrele was younger. Although he returned back to the family and tried to make amends, the situation never sat right with Andrele.
    Noticing the awkwardness Big Mama interrupts.
    "Come on in here and get you something to eat...we need to catch up anyway bout how things been...c'mon here."
    The rest of the afternoon went swiftly as the family, with the exception of Andrele and Pat, enjoyed time with one another. Chicken, black eyed peas, macaroni and cheese, string beans, collard greens and cornbread cover the table as they eat. Pat starts to cough hard.
    "Honey are you alright?" Andrele's mother Pam asks.
    "Yea I think something went down wrong." Pat answers
    "Have you taken yo medicine today...if not than you really need to..." she said.
    "I gotta get them from the bedroom...I'll be right back..." he said.
    "Or not..." Andrele mutters under his breath.
    There is a brief silence and then Pat starts for the door.
    "Congrats on your success son..." he said.
    "Oh so now I'm yo son?" Andrele said back
    "You've always been my son...but you haven't always accepted it." Pat said.
    "You haven't always accepted me either or us either..." Andrele replies.
    "Son..."
    "Just stop Pat...Just forget it..." Andrele said.
    Pat pauses, begins to talk but not to and continues out of the dining room.
    "What is wrong wit you Drele?" Pam asks.
    "Mama please don't start this..." he replies.
    "Boy you gon listen to me...Now that man may have made his mistakes but he has worked his ass off to not only support this family but to better his relationship wit us...especially you...he can't do that if you continue to blow him off...whether you like it or not that is still your father and you need to show him some respect." Pam stated.
    "Ok mama..." Andrele said.
    "Girl you know that is going through one ear and out the other...the boy is just hurt...he will..." Big Mama was saying before she was interrupted by faint coughing and a thud.
    "Pat...honey...are you ok?" Pam said rushing out of the dining room.
    Following were shrieks and screaming.
    "PATRICK...GOD NO NO NO...PATRICK..."

No Pain No Pleasure: Chapter 1

    As the morning sun rose and filled the Atlanta loft, not only did it illuminate the room but it sheds light on all the acquired dreams and accomplishments of a westside Atlanta raised poet/writer. It underlined the struggle from the bottom of bottoms to the top of the booksellers charts.
    This rags to tags story belongs to none other than Andrele Driek. Andrele, who goes by the alias "Mel Thoughts", is the writer of the top selling series, "Sensual Subject." His latest installment "Sensual Subject: Ecstacy" was recently released and in just its second week is selling better than any of his previous work. With his series selling so well, on comes his popularity boost. Andrele has made many appearances on various tv talk shows and radio shows promoting his series and his new book. With this being so, Andrele hasn't been able to completely rest in weeks. So this rare occasion of him being home in his own bed was definitely refreshing.
    But this would be short lived as his phone begins to ring and his morning calls begin.
    "I guess this means YOU are allowing me another day...Thank YOU!!" He says as he reaches for his cell phone.
    "Hello...Talk to me..."
    "I know you're not still sleep...you need to get yo ass up!" the caller said.
    "Really? Why must you call me and harass me on my day off?" He replied. "Isn't it enough that you have to deal with me any other day...but now you have to call me on my day of freedom?"
    "Boy ain't nobody worried bout you...I'm worried bout this money to be made tomorrow..." the caller said.
    "Can we talk bout this later Mercy?"
    The caller on the other end of the phone is Tanya Mercy, Andrele's assistant and publicist.
    "Yea we can but we need to talk bout this ASAP..." Tanya said.
    "Thank you...Now get off my phone and let me rest." He said. "Don't you have anything to do with yo life?"
    "Shouldn't I be telling you that...I'm the one working for you." She said.
    "And that is what you are getting paid to do isn't it...So stop complaining!" He said jokingly.
    "I'm hanging up the phone now...Goodbye!!" She said.
    "I'ma call U la..." He begins before she ends the call.
    Today is a day of rest and relaxation for Andrele but being from the city of Atlanta that hardly ever sleeps actually having some down time would be hard to do. It would definitely prove to be hard for him as he suddenly picked up his phone and begins to call his friends from his old neighborhood.
    "Yea brah...what y'all gettin into tonight...oh y'all hittin the club...which one y'all goin to..."
    At that moment his door bell rang, which was odd because he had been on the road and no one, to his knowledge, knew he was home.
    "Yo hold up...somebody at my door..." he said as he walked down to his first floor.
    As he got to the door he asked for who was there and there was no answer, jus another knock. He opens the door and to his surprise standing there was a 5'5" brown skin goddess of a woman.
    "Drele, I've been tryna get back in touch wit you for the longest...what happened?" she asked.
    "Oh well...I been on the road...you know...uh promoting." he answered.
    "Well you here now and we have a lot of catching up to do..." she said.
    Then in that instant she took off her coat revealing her black lace lingerie, and as her coat hit the floor she politely invited herself in.
    Astonished in his own right he simply picks up the coat and hangs up the phone.
    "Lea...what are you...how did you know I was here?"
    "You act like I dont live right down the way..." she answered. "I heard your tv on and and just couldn't help myself."
    "What is this really about Lea?" he asked.
    "Shh...you doin too much talking...come here." she said as she pulled him onto the couch.
    She began to kiss him deeply as she made her way on top of him. His lips, then his neck, then his chest as she worked her way further. This in turn got what she wanted out of him. As he ran his fingers through her hair he begins to open up to her. He then stops her and flips her over to her back, taking off her lingerie and penetrating her body.
    In then out, out then in as he strokes her. She grips him tight as he works her body, moaning profusely into his ear.
    "Get It...Get It...Get It...ITS YOURS!!"
    An hour of their bodies twisting and turning and it had ended.
    "Damn girl...shit..." he said.
    "Thanks for the compliment I guess..." she said laughing. "Well I have to go..."
    "Wait...you dont wanna at least stay for breakfast?" he asked.
    "Maybe some other time...see you around..." she said.
    And with that she grabbed her coat and was out the door.
    "This day can't get any crazier than that." he thought to himself.
    But what he didn't know was that he was in for a much crazier day than that. This was ONLY the beginning!

Gotta Make Her My Gurl

Ok before I begin
Let's jus agree that U can expect this from me
But good grief this chick here
I fear being in her presence
Only cause her "Perfect"ness scares me

Not scares me to the point where I'm cowarding away
But scares me 2 the point that if I miss a DAY without seeing her
We can concur that my world will be upside down
Because I've found something SO rare
I could never prepare myself 2 be without this goddess

SO modest 2 her greatness
As I state this
She will probably still never believe
What I conceive her 2 be
And 2 me that is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen
Wit a style SO mean
Attitude SO sarene
Truly my queen 2 be
HOPEFULLY

See
If she were 2 come with me
I could guarantee that her life would be filled with happiness and jubilance
Whether its thick or thin I must endure
To ensure that this fact is true
I will do what I have 2 do

My heart is locked in on fulfilling her every want and need
I'm ready and willing 2 feed her with so much love
Ready to put all of my heart and soul
Into my goal
And that is to hold Ur heart in my hand
And make you truely understand that I can be Ur man

With one chance at romance
I will do all I can 2 to bag her heart
And make her an official part of my life
Through the strife
I must become triumphant
Come up short I can't
I gotta make her my gurl

Overflow

Wish the rest the best as the stress pours over me...So blessed to see another 24 but as more and more time ticks the stress picks my brain...insane asylum...A problem in my head that has sped up my acceptance 2 the grave...enclaved by the thoughts of failure, short comings and pity my witty moments turn more into nomads across a deserted plain...Again I sit...Heart in a million pieces...the pain never ceases 2 remote end

Bed Time Special

Luscious lips
Amazing hips
Dips my mind
Into some kind of trance
Watching you prance around
The sound of your sexy tone
Romes through my head
As I lay in the bed
Waiting upon the arrival
The arrival of the "Bed Time Special"
A big bowl full of the best
And I'm obsessed with finishing every lil bit
Till it ain't nothing left
I can't help myself
Because its SO great
Got me straight expeditious
Eating this delicious nutritious mocha/chocolate delight
Enjoying every single bite
Or shall I say lick
And every stick
Of my tongue
Time among time
In then out
Up and down
Till I've found
The sweetest spot
Until I've finished all I've got
And even then
I tend to beg for more
Pour more for me please
So that I may appease
This horrible hunger of mine
Do U Mind?

Unplanned

L O V EEE & Affection
Thats all thats needed
Depleted of this makes me miss what I couldn't give my full appreciation
Depreciation of the my sanity has me wishing that I could've jus looked past the pain of not having your heart rather than part ways with the person I wanted 2 spend the rest of my days with
A person says with time things will be fine
But as I find time past me it seems as though my last may be coming soon
I'm so caught up in your love cause all I've wanted is you
But when I couldn't get you to accept me and my love for you the fact became more true with every moment
I won't ever be enough for U
Never good enough
Never as understanding as U needed me to be
So honestly that left a hole in my heart
I began 2 find these emotions elsewhere
But now cause of my choices I must suffer as I see the diamond I wanted so bad slip out my grasp
As I sit and get pushed more and more to the left to be left behind
All I can't do is sigh
I love U with all of me
But it seems to me that we will never be again
I will always hold on 2 U cause I've made my mind up
But it seems I'm doing nothing but wishing on luck

Perfect Picture

Visualize This!
A room filled with rose petals
Nice candle light
Nice slow music
To get the mood just right

Picture This!
Your favorite scent in the air
Your favorite candy on the bed
That whip cream I use
When I make U spread

Oh And What About This!
What about the bubble bath I ran for you
With yo favorite gellies
That soothes yo body
And gets you ready

Ready For What You Ask?
Ready for my smoove groove
That sends sensations through you
Got yo body quivering
From the things I do

Would You Like That?
Do you like the way that sounds
It would be better to see
Its better to witness this greatness
That you'll receive from me

So Do You Think You're Ready?
Are you ready for this love
Cause its the best
Cause I puts it down and nothing
And nothing less

So What It Is?
What is it gon be I know you thinkin bout it
So jus let me know
And you got it

Hell Fire

ANGER RUSHES ME
From left and right
Anger pounding my mind and heart
Fire brewing in my sight

And the fire inside of me burns
It's burning so quick
80 degrees now
And it won't quit

What am I suppose 2 do
Burning now at 100 degrees
Wanting 2 leash out and say something
Among other things

I'm SO confused
Worrying what 2 do
Leash out
Or keep my cool

Well that's jus the thing
I'm tired of fighting my anger
Tired of holdin it back
Tryna be the bigger man
Tryna be a class act

But this s*** is getting strenuous
Fire's getting 2 large 2 smother
Building stronger and stronger
As I suffer and suffer

This s*** is making me CRAZY
I'm goin f****** INSANE
The more I try 2 deal with it
The more it wrecks my brain

Then tryna forget it
Only makes it worst
As it resurfaces
As though I've been cursed

I mean really
What am I 2 do
Continue 2 hide my feelings Or let them go and live anew

But would it really make things better
When I think this way it blurs
Cause this is messing with my heart and mind
My soul and all my nerves

The fire just takes total control
Controls my thoughts and actions
The fire makes me angry and evil
For it's sick satisfactions

Y R U STILL HERE?
GET OUTTA MY HEAD!
Fire burning so heavily
So Red

I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS
This hell I'm in
And jus adding 2 it
When I try 2 laugh and pretend

I must get away from the endless discomfort
How?
I don't know
It's hard 2 say
With this curse repeating itself so

Some how, Some way
I must overcome this hell fire
So I can live calmly
And receive the peace I SO desire!

Beauty Is Her Name

Her Beauty over-whelms me
As I see the sparkle in her Eyes
She Absolutely takes control of me
Unveiling my emotional cries

She has me about To go crazy
I Yearn for her touch
And I yearn for her touch
Because I love it So much

And Her swagger is so erotic
So Erotic I can’t ignore
Really keeps me coming back
Now wanting more and more

But instead of hanging Around with me
She makes a Move past
But I Enjoy every minute
As if my last

But I can’t let her go on
Because she has stolen my heart
And from her
I don’t want to be apart

But I guess I have to let her go
And I’ll continue to play this wonderful game
With this woman that’s stolen my heart
And BEAUTY IS HER NAME

Love?

LOVE?
What is LOVE?
This feeling that controls me
Holds Me!
Consoles Me!
And probes me to be the biggest fool I can be

Why does it make me bold
Willing to hold
The new and old
Down in my soul
Until I feel so cold
This feeling numbs me

And why does it make me hide
My feelings inside
Got me swallowing my pride
Crying tears from my eyes
Vision so blurry that I can see

But then again I love it
I love how it makes me feel
The feeling is so real
Gives me the ability to steal
A couple precious seconds of beautiful sanity

Love can be cool or cruel
But one thing about it
I can’t live with it or with without it
Get over it, I surely doubt it
Because love is just a part of me

Please Better Me

Lord please forgive me for I have sins
My LORD my lies and deceit
Pile at my feet
And make it hard for me to walk
They stalk me
A hawk to it's prey
I lay open and oblivious
To this cycle of hell
Like a jail
But I can't seem to bail Myself out of this

Why must I suffer
When I'm ready and willing to change
Willing to exchange this life for another chance
To advance pass this mess that
I've dug myself into
I'm through with the tears Through the years that I've shed
And spread like the flu OOOO how the nausea bothers me so

As I let my feelings flow
I write to show
That though I've made these mistakes
My heart aches
And I want to do whatever it takes to start anew
And to add to that in fact I want to improve the areas I lack in
To end this tendency
To amend with a plee to the world that while my world twirls
From this point on the old me is gone
And that is how I will act upon any further situations

With these aspirations of mine
I hope to shine as bright as a light
Despite my dark past this I ask of you my LORD
Please award me with the strength to withstand
So that I may continue as planned to my glorious future
To you SIR I ask of this Please grant me this wish so that I may renew
Thank You!
AMEN

Always There!!

In thought of what I could do
To honor U
On this special day
A way to say that I appreciate U
A way to say that with what we've been through
I'm still here for U
A way 2 say that although we've had our troubles
U can still count on me
To be
The person U need
When U want 2 confide in someone
Or when U jus wanna have fun
And when U think everything is done
I'm that shoulder U can cry on
And help lift the ton off Ur back
When things stack up
And U don't know what to do
See who?
See me
Cause I can guarantee that I will be waiting and willing
I'm just really writing this cause I don't want U to forget that I still care about U
And have U on my mind all the time
With every line of that poem that I stroked
Was what I wrote directly from the heart
And don't forget that part

My Apology

All I can do is say I'm sorry
I really am from the bottom of my heart
And the part that hurts me
Is to see U and kno that I've done the things I've done

Sun up and down
I've been around
Struting like a king
Doing my own thing
Basically not givin a damn about yo feelings

Dealing with me must have been hell
As I failed I
To fulfill yo needs
Thinkin about myself as yo heart pleads for attention
Not to mention the addition of me being a prick

But with every tick tock of my clock
I realize that I am TOTALLY wrong
And as I give U this apology
I would like to see things change between us
Thus with this I want to let U know
That I will show improve
I want us to move forward past this mess

Guess its up 2 U 2 accept this
I'm not expecting U 2 want 2 kiss and make up quick
But stick in there with me
And I guarantee that things will be different

Show...No Tell!!

Baby all bull aside
I've arrived to the fact
That talking gets me nowhere
And I care for U SO much
So because of such
On this day
I'm writing you this to say
That from this point on
I will be drawn
To making you understand
That I am your man
Also that you R the best thing that's happen 2 me
And I will act and treat U accordingly
I'm not saying that it will PERFECT
Because we all make mistakes
But with Ur heart at stake
I will take full responsibility for Ur heart
With this is where we start
The beginning of the rest of lives
And I will strive to be the best I can be
WE WILL WORK BABY!!

Inspiration Inspire Me

Inspiration inspire me...Open up my heart and mind 2 find that love/hate that I store so that I can pour it on this piece of paper...Inspiration inspire me 2 pour it on this paper so that this paper will absorb my pain filled ink...my love filled ink...my lust filled ink...let it sink into the ridges formed by my pen again and again till this paper has been drowned by my questions, thoughts and concerns...Inspiration inspire me so that my questions, thoughts and concerns may pour...Let them pour until I am numb...SO numb...Only thing I want 2 feel is my heart beat and the streak and stroke of this pen...Inspiration inspire me

Free Flow 5

Eyes full of sin, again and again it runs through my mind
That fine frame
Just a shame 2 have all that and the bag if chips
Hips, lips, dips or shall I say curves deserve a standing O
Oh...lol...they jus got what they deserve

Free Flow 4/Its Beautiful Lust!!

She's inspiration to my dreams!
The type of chick you make love to and remember every hump, bump, stick and lick
U remember the smooth groove that slips from her hips and to your axis and every fulfilling thrust that she sends back! Its BEAUTIFUL lust!!

Head Strong

Smart girl...mind of yo own...head strong all the time...bae yo mind got me gone...U long for my pleasure...no matter the measure U jus wanna fulfill my "Jones"...Got me caught in yo world...In a whirl I spin...in and out out and in U take me in again and again till its time 2 begin again...I LOVE WHEN U'RE HEAD STRONG!!

Late Night Thoughts

Caught up..stuck..my mind stuck in time..kinda sucks considering things..brings me 2 this point..joints..papers..sweets..Anything 2 free me! BELIEVE ME..I can't lose the way I feel..I can only steal a couple precious crumbs of the love I wish was mines..Lately I find myself reminiscing..kissin you..touchin you..holdin you but really I don't need 2 waste my time..rewind that..its a fact that my time is up..but why give in 2 chance..its never helped me b4 so of course its not gon help me now..so how do U feel about that..WAIT..I really don't care in fact cause good or bad it will only add 2 the way I feel and that's real...

The Runner

Pain...Pain...Go Away....U stain my eyes red...RED....RED....SO RED....mind lost and exhausted...RED RED RED...I hear U and I see U...RED...Mind sped up...erupted...corrupted...stuck in the battle...having 2 see U saddle up on Ur high horse...forced 2 live wit this pain...gain of being the one 2 blame....shame...same way I feel now I will always feel... filled out and sealed made out 2 U pain...what can I say...its like I can't get away from U...fucked...stuck...being a lesson in Ur book of ducks...The Runner....bearing all flaws on my back...but that's exactly the thing...This isn't my first time around the block...I've been down that road b4...as my feelings pour but for some reason this shit has been forced upon me...See one thing about me is Ima Lone Soldier...heart as cold as a cold shoulder...But as warm as a kiss on the shoulder, cheek, and lips...So why should my heart be put out and hung 2 dry...IDK why and I don't think I'll EVER find out.

Free Flow 3

Drowning in her love is the best! Yes! I must confess! When we lay, may I say, that I am simply consumed by her womb. As I long stroke, I soak in her essence. I LOVE HER PRESENCE!!!!

Physically Invisible

As the sun shines through the morning skies and hits my window ever so gently
My mind is immensely drowned by the thought of U
Ur stare I cannot bare, ur hair, ur style, ur smile
And for a while I began 2 physically feel U near
Physically feel ur pillow soft skin against mine
Eyes aligned wit mine
My mind suspended in time
Till a single crick or crack brings me back
And I continue 2 long for ur actual presence
Good Morning Love Of My Life

Free Flow 2

As I sit and think of where I could've been...Where I should've been...deep within I begin 2 second guess...Second guess this stress that I'm in...But God has alarmed me that this test that I'm in is for the best of me...Never sleep on the blessings set upon U because beyond U is great fate. God's never late. Always right on time and if U put the time in grinding HE WILL reward U with success!!

Free Flow

I ain't feeling this
This between me and U
See while you pursue whatever it is for U
See it from my point of view
We R totally different people
Totally different people who want different things
Which brings me 2 the point of why continue
Why continue wit this mess that's less than the best we can give
Rather than forgive and forget
We forgive then regret
Then relive the disrespect
And neglect
And the hate
A mistake if we were 2 go on like this
And piss poor make up can never make up for the things we go through
Who do U think I am
Not the one
So U continue 2 do U
Cause I'ma do me
And get back 2 my sanity

U Did That!!

U did that! All I can't think of is "U did that"...Simply cause U did...wit your lips, fingers tips, hips, Eyes wide, thighs twisted and turned as make love wildly. U grip my body tight...I hit jus right...Our bodies grind ever so gently....This is our art and it is SO LOVEly!!